I have been rejected---again.
Over a month ago I was on vacation with my family--happily jumping in waves and building sandcastles--when I received a message on my phone from a producer from CBS's TV show 'The Talk'.
I want to make it clear that I nor anyone else (that I am aware of) contacted them--they saw something on the internet that led them to call us. To be honest with you, I was quite skeptical at the beginning. This wasn't the first time that we have been contacted out of the blue by a person from the media. A couple of years ago someone from 'Family Circle' magazine called and wanted to do an article about us---but I never heard anything else beyond that first call. I figured this would turn out about the same. But these producers were persistent. They called me a few times over the next few days and then contacted my mother several times. Actually, they were like flies on tar paper for about a week. They had me really believing that we were going to do this. They had me contacting non-profits that we work with in Grand Rapids, giving them information about where my grandma was buried, asking for permission to use pictures of past quilt recipients (which meant I had to contact them). About 4 weeks ago I got a call from another producer who I had a wonderful conversation with. She said "We are planning on being in Grand Rapids April 12th for a minimum of 8 hours. Please let me know if that would be a problem. We have scheduled your show for May 2, 2011. We will be in touch about the travel arrangements as soon as we confirm all the details." (exact quote from e-mail following our talk)
And that is when I believed that this really was going to happen. "Would you be able to send me your mom's house address for our field production office?I am in the process of contacting all of the locations you passed on to me and then I will send to **** (name deleted) our field producer. You will receive a call from her in the next coming days. I can't believe this is all happening next week! :-)" (another quote from an e-mail).
The reason I am posting these quotes is to show how I was led on and to this day I am trying to figure out what happened.
I won't bore you with the rest of the details of the past two and a half weeks but it wasn't until I had taken all of my kids out of school to travel to Michigan for the supposed "on location taping" and shared this exciting news with just about everyone that the producer writes me an e-mail saying that "I thought it best to let you know that nothing officially has been approved for our Mothers Day series."
And basically, that is the last I have heard from her--I have tried calling and e-mailing but keep getting the answer that the execs haven't made their final decision. I am not sure what is going on but I am terribly disappointed in myself for believing that this would happen and doing some things that are terribly uncharacteristic of me over the past month--like:
1. Buying fancy clothes that weren't on sale.
2. Spending lots of money on coloring and cutting my hair :)
3. Invading people's private lives just because a stranger asked me to.
4. Letting my anxiety get the best of me--causing loss of sleep and bouts of self doubt.
So, my friends, who would have known that 6 years ago when my grandma was murdered that the direction of my life (and my mom's) would lead us to this day where I am writing a blog post about being rejected by a TV show. It seems our brush with fame was just that--a brush. I let myself be distracted from our goal which remains the same--Bringing Hope and Comfort Through Quilting.
Thanks for all of the kind comments that you have sent over the past few weeks--we have some of the greatest supporters out there! Our journey continues--never knowing who will call out of the blue or what God's purpose for this whole fiasco has been but confident that we are doing everything here for HIS glory not our own.