Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Rejection Part Two

I have been rejected---again.
Over a month ago I was on vacation with my family--happily jumping in waves and building sandcastles--when I received a message on my phone from a producer from CBS's TV show 'The Talk'.
I want to make it clear that I nor anyone else (that I am aware of) contacted them--they saw something on the internet that led them to call us.  To be honest with you, I was quite skeptical at the beginning.  This wasn't the first time that we have been contacted out of the blue by a person from the media.  A couple of years ago someone from 'Family Circle' magazine called and wanted to do an article about us---but I never heard anything else beyond that first call.  I figured this would turn out about the same.  But these producers were persistent.  They called me a few times over the next few days and then contacted my mother several times.  Actually, they were like flies on tar paper for about a week.  They had me really believing that we were going to do this.  They had me contacting non-profits that we work with in Grand Rapids, giving them information about where my grandma was buried, asking for permission to use pictures of past quilt recipients (which meant I had to contact them).  About 4 weeks ago I got a call from another producer who I had a wonderful conversation with.  She said "We are planning on being in Grand Rapids April 12th for a minimum of 8 hours.  Please let me know if that would be a problem.  We have scheduled your show for May 2, 2011.  We will be in touch about the travel arrangements as soon as we confirm all the details."  (exact quote from e-mail following our talk)
And that is when I believed that this really was going to happen. "Would you be able to send me your mom's house address for our field production office?I am in the process of contacting all of the locations you passed on to me and then I will send to **** (name deleted) our field producer.  You will receive a call from her in the next coming days. I can't believe this is all happening next week!  :-)" (another quote from an e-mail).
The reason I am posting these quotes is to show how I was led on and to this day I am trying to figure out what happened.
 I won't bore you with the rest of the details of the past two and a half weeks but it wasn't until I had taken all of my kids out of school to travel to Michigan for the supposed "on location taping" and shared this exciting news with just about everyone that the producer writes me an e-mail saying that "I thought it best to let you know that nothing officially has been approved for our Mothers Day series." 
And basically, that is the last I have heard from her--I have tried calling and e-mailing but keep getting the answer that the execs haven't made their final decision.  I am not sure what is going on but I am terribly disappointed in myself for believing that this would happen and doing some things that are terribly uncharacteristic of me over the past month--like:
1. Buying fancy clothes that weren't on sale.
2. Spending lots of money on coloring and cutting my hair :)
3. Invading people's private lives just because a stranger asked me to.
4. Letting my anxiety get the best of me--causing loss of sleep and bouts of self doubt.

So, my friends, who would have known that 6 years ago when my grandma was murdered that the direction of my life (and my mom's) would lead us to this day where I am writing a blog post about being rejected by a TV show.  It seems our brush with fame was just that--a brush. I let myself be distracted from our goal which remains the same--Bringing Hope and Comfort Through Quilting.

Thanks for all of the kind comments that you have sent over the past few weeks--we have some of the greatest supporters out there!  Our journey continues--never knowing who will call out of the blue or what God's purpose for this whole fiasco has been but confident that we are doing everything here for HIS glory not our own.


sherilee said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this. While national media attention would have undoubtedly been gratifying, I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you are making a difference where it matters most, with individuals, daily, with your quilts.

Keep on!

beth lehman said...

I guess we never know where God will lead .... So, maybe another call? Of a different kind or maybe the same... trusting all the while... I guess it's how we learn to trust.

Maureen said...

Perhaps God used you sharing your story with these particular media people because there was something they needed to hear and He chose you to deliver the message. It did not work out as you thought it would, but God was in it. My prayers are with your family this week as you remember your grandmother.

Morse said...

That is so rude of them. You guys are amazing and have changed my life for the better. Lisa

marilyn said...

It is hard not to get excited when you think that your story could be shared with so many more people, but God knows when and where the story needs to be heard and in His time it will be. Praying that your heard will be protected and that you will find His peace through the storms of life. Praying for your ministry to grow and bless each person that it touches. Praying for protection from all of the distractions this world and life has to throw in the way of His purpose. You know you are doing His will when the enemy starts attacking. Love you and the joy you spread one quilt at a time.

Emily {Creative Chicks} said...

Please don't beat yourself up. You are doing good for others with or without a little tv time. :)

marilyn said...

your heart (not your heard) will be protected

hoekstra family said...

Carin - I am sorry to hear that this has happened this way. Remain faithful in the wonderful work you do! You are an inspiration to many people - myself included. I give you permission to keep the dress and great new hair cut as a gift to yourself...you are worth it and you deserve it! hang in there, I miss you.

Lynn said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. As a mom too sometimes we don't do too much for ourselves so I know that that new hairstyle must feel good.
MHC is important and inspiration to so many people and your desire was to share that with more people, nothing wrong with that. I don't think it's rejection (not like that first one which still makes me furious and has given me something to think about concerning people and even used it as an example to my daughter how high school meanness carries on in life - oops I digress). I think it's more like there were some communication problems and disorganization in this, their problem, not rejection.

JoAnne said...

Rest assured, you have not been rejected by anyone who really counts! "CBS Cares" Hah! YOU have made a difference in people's lives. Can the people from that TV show say that? Nope!

I'm packing up a couple quilts and some tops to send you. I thank you for taking these tops and taking away the guilt I've had for not finishing them. God bless you!

SewCalGal said...

I've always looked at it that as one door may look like it closes, another door opens. While you may not have obtained what you wanted by going thru that first door, it did provide a chance for others to get more familiar with what you held dear to you, on your side of the door. And they can come back, or share insights with another friend, who may open another door.

Hang in there. More doors will open.


SherryB said...

Oh wow...what a story. I can't say it any better than the rest of the commenters above...my heart goes out to you & family during all this. But can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you now...it's all in how you live it. Love to you & anxious to see your new "do"!